don't be a fool

So, you think you're old enough?  Now what?  You want to hate your natural habitat which you referred to as your "comfort zone" and explore what is unfamiliar just so you can say that you are resilient to change?  Yes, you've conformed to rules all your life and oh how beautiful you turned out to be until today.  Why?  Just because you are surrounded with people whose upbringing and mentality are totally opposite yours you immediately resent the methods and culture that is almost engraved in your bones?  So what if you want to walk away from that "comfort zone" and reach for your goals?  What's that got to do with people controlling you? Did you mean that some sort of controlling people stopped you from getting to your goal?  What exactly did you mean when you said that people controlled you even in the way you DRESS?  Are you talking about the office dress code or your mother having a say if your outfit is a tad too short or your neckline too revealing?  

To quote you  "That passion to want to achieve my goals ... just vanished...the more I stayed, the more I dragged myself down and lost my confidence...I let other people decide what I should do tonight, where I should be, how I should act, even DRESS." 

I miss those days when your survival depended on me and you never doubted

Those days when growing up was just a natural thing that occurred
you flourished while your parents struggled 

Wasn't that job in school like a pit stop before your actual graduation rites?  You said it yourself, while others were staying home wasting time, at least you were being paid to do what you had been doing all along as the IVP of the student council.  And what's this about losing confidence?  I remember how happily you mentioned to me that you've gained so much confidence by being competent in the job you did for school.  Wasn't it the happiest and the fun-est time of your life when you were with your younger friends and your younger boyfriend?  You said so yourself.  But didn't need to.  That was the time you glowed.  I wouldn't look back to those days and say "I will not let these people hold me back and control me"  What is this place exactly that you referred to as you comfort zone?  Is it the home you grew up in or the school your learned so much from or both?  Are we now turning into a cynical monster?  Whoa!  Has the negativity rubbed on you in a passive way?  You know, you think you're still positive but you're actually not.  Grow up!  Don't be blinded and easily swayed.  It's not just doing something if you know it is not wrong...it should be to do what is right.  

Here's something you can introspect on before your next blog:  LOVE YOURSELF.  LOVE YOUR ROOTS.  LOVE WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF.

before you trash your past let me tell you that you were doing GREAT doing small steps at a time.

FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

you will never be unwanted, unloved, 
uncared for or forgotten
and that is your strength...
our precious gift to you
L O V E

my children

if i accept u for who you are then i will make you worst.
however, if i treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming
then i help you become that.
i will not let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do
you were meant to be great!